Connor Shaw and Molly Smith are getting married next week. Here’s what not to get them


So, if you haven’t heard, former South Carolina Gamecocks quarterback Connor Shaw, now with the Cleveland Browns, and his fiancé Molly Smith are set to get married, and apparently it’s happening very soon. As in, next week soon:

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Now, since I wasn’t invited, I am not on the gift registry–basically for the very fact that Connor and Molly don’t know me and I don’t know them. In the off chance that someone that has been invited to the festivities comes across this article, though, I thought I’d provide a public service and offer up a few things to


get the future husband and wife:

Any piece of Johnny Manziel autographed memorabilia
Shaw might be looking up at the depth chart at Manziel for some time on the Cleveland Browns’ roster. He’ll likely have no use for seeing a reminder of that fact around the house whenever he wakes up and heads out on his way to practice. That autographed Manziel poster, though, might be good for some, well, other uses, ones that won’t be elaborated on in this article.

A framed wall photo of former Browns owner Art Modell
Modell, of course, was the man responsible for the relocation of the original Browns franchise to Baltimore, where they would become the Ravens. If Shaw’s been studying up on the history of the team, he’ll have to know that the very mention of the man’s name will likely result in him being expelled from the city.

A Pittsburgh Steelers Fathead
That will likely go straight into the trash. Save yourself the trouble.

A piece of grass from Orlando’s Bright House Networks Stadium.
This was the place where Shaw hurt his shoulder in September and was forced to miss a couple weeks. I’m fairly sure he wouldn’t want a memento from the scene of the incident.

A Clemson jersey for the baby.
Really? In fact, DON’T get anything orange for the baby at all. Or with any trace of regalia, for that matter. I literally did not know regalia was a color until I found it was associated with Clemson. Actually, if you must get something orange, make sure it’s the right orange. There is a difference. See below.

This is unacceptable.

This is OK.

There you have it. Those are some examples of things NOT to get Connor and Molly for their wedding. Our readers may have some other ideas of what to bring and not to bring, which they’re welcome to share below, or on Facebook and Twitter.

And best wishes to Connor and Molly. We hope the wedding is beautiful. By the way, we never received an invitation–we think that it might have gotten lost in the mail.